Retail Spectacle – Chapter III

Mia has a few extra bumps and bruises these days. All of a sudden, she wants to run whenever she can. She particularly loves being chased. It is quite a sight. She is not all that sure-footed yet, so her arms flail around and we worry she could take a tumble at any moment. Last week, we went to the mall together. She is usually content to sit in her stroller, but that night she cried to be let out. After all attempts to calm her failed, I relented. At first, she wanted to push the stroller herself. Then she decided it was time to run away. I’m faster than her, but the mall wasn’t crowded at all, so I let her run while staying 2 feet or so behind. She ran through the center of the food court then continued past various shops and kiosks. As she neared the Lindt Chocolates store, I though she was going to veer in for a free sample, but she changed course at the last minute. She was giggling hysterically the whole way, entertaining store clerks stationed at the entrance to their shops with the uneven slap-slap of her shoes and her rubbery waving of her arms. A few times, she headed toward a signpost or other hazard, but I herded her away from the danger with all the finesse of a well-trained border collie.
Finally we reached the entrance to one of the department stores, and I decided it was time to go back in the stroller. Well, she didn’t like that. I put her in the stroller and as I attempted to fasten her seat belt, she slumped down so far that she was about to fall out of her seat. (Did I mention we’d purchased this stroller in China? Somehow I think it would not pass U.S. safety standards, despite its well-known but likely counterfeit brand label.) I grabbed her under the armpits and tried to pull her back up, without success. By now, she was getting uncomfortable and scared, so she started crying. My efforts to pull her up were hindered by the fact that the stroller’s brakes weren’t engaged, and I couldn’t reach them without letting go of Mia. Besides that, the shoulder strap on my purse had become wrapped around my neck and was swaying back and forth in close proximity to her head. Panicked, I looked around for a friendly-looking stranger whom I could enlist to put the brakes on the stroller. Darn – nothing but a fountain and some potted plants! My pride in my border collie moves turned to fear for Mia’s safety.
I’m not quite sure how I managed it, but I ditched the strangling purse, stabilized the wayward stroller with my knees, and lifted Mia back into a proper seated position. After getting her seat belt securely fastened, I swiveled my neck in search of video cameras. As far as I can tell, no one captured my Lucy Ricardo moment for the benefit of the authorities. I then made a quick getaway to the parking lot. By the time we drove the 5 miles home, Mia had apparently forgotten the incident and was sound asleep. The Sominex-mobile had worked again. (Note to self: Buy a better stroller.)