The Boss

Mia has been pretty bossy lately, and while I admire her assertiveness, I am of the view that few things are less attractive than a bossy 3-year-old girl. We are coping with this by suggesting that instead of barking out orders to her parents (or nanny, whom she has also started to boss), she needs to put on her nicest voice and say, "Mom, can you please .....?" If she barks out an order, I have learned the best response is to stop what I am doing, look directly at her, cock my head, and say nothing. When she says, "Please, Mom, can you....?" my standard response is, "Why yes, since you asked so nicely, I'd be happy to put you milk in the sparkly purple cup." (She tries to capitalize on this by asking for candy and cookies, but I'm too smart for that.)

I will admit that I am sometimes impressed by her attempts at persuasion (to put it nicely). Case in point: Last night we were driving in the car and I was practicing my Chinese, repeating after the woman on the CD I got in the mail the other day. Not only would Mia not practice along with me, she made it clear she did not want to listen to me.

Mia: "Mom, stooooooop!"

Me: "I'm practicing my Chinese. Why do I have to stop?"

Mia: "Mom, it's dangerous!"

Me: "That's silly. It's not dangerous!"

Mia: "I am disappointed! I am mad!"

That was enough for me to turn on the Andrew Lloyd Weber Broadway hits album, where Mia requested her favorite song, "By Jeeves."

Bedtime Stories

We've been having a tough time getting Mia to go to bed at a decent hour (i.e., before 9:30 p.m.). She is so full of energy, she just doesn't want to wind down. She begs for "more milky" (oh, yeah, she is also going through a phase where she thinks it is cute to add a "Y" on the end of her nouns), insists she is hungry (I am not sympathetic to this, after she eats a snack that would put The Very Hungry Caterpiller to shame), puts on and takes off various nightwear (usually ending up with just a camisole and a night-time diaper) and on and on.

The only thing that really works is getting her into the rocking chair and turning out the lights. That is her cue to ask, "Mom, tell me about my day." I first did this one night when I was having a particularly difficult time winding down, and it has become a nightly ritual. It goes something like this (with daily variations, of course), "Daddy woke you up but you said you wanted to sleep some more so he went off to work. Then Mommy woke you up and you said you wanted to sleep some more but Mommy said we have to get ready for school. You decided to wear your red dress and the purple bow...." The plain-old everyday details continue as I recount the days events in my most soothing, hypnotherapy-worthy voice. Periodically, Mia breaks in with, "You forgot....." at which point I exclaim, "You know, you're right!" and rewind the tape, adding that tidbit. Sometimes, she editorializes on my description of something we did together ("... and Mom was not happy") or announces with great authority something that happened at preschool ("Evan had an accident"). Since I can rarely on direct questioning get her to tell me anything about what she did in preschool, I like having these little windows on her day - even when she tells me, "Sofie told me to take my shoes and socks off on the playground and I got a time out."

After I recount the big and small events of the day, I wrap up with the standard finale. "And then you sat in my lap and I told you about your day."

Snowbound??

Being from the Upper Midwest, I find it amusing how a little snow can shut things down here. Last Thursday we had a dusting of snow (they said an inch on TV but look for yourself - I'm not sure what kind of ruler they were using) and it shut down schools and most businesses on Friday and Saturday. (Some were still closed on Monday.) To be fair, the thin layer of ice underneath the snow was the real problem. It was darn cold even by my standards (windchills had to be near zero), but Mia and I got out for a few minutes. Lest you were wondering about my parenting skills, be informed that I tried very hard to persuade her to zip up her jacket!! (I gave up, deciding I was not going to win that war and it would be easier just to whisk her inside at the first signs of hypothermia.) It was also her idea to wear the sunglasses, though it was only because she liked the look. I can never get her to actually use them for their intended purpose.

Where was Jeff, you ask? He got up early and applied I don't know how many pounds of ice melter to our super-steep driveway, then headed in to the office.

Back At It

Between work, preparations for Christmas, and a laptop that quit on Christmas Day (Merry Christmas from HP - just 39 days after the 12-month warranty expired), it has been a long time since I posted. We had a lovely holiday that included a trip to Minnesota and lots of time with both sets of grandparents and many aunts, uncles, and cousins. This year we decided to stay in a hotel (with points, not $ - in case you were thinking I'd won the lottery) and found it reduced everyone's stress levels. Mia is generally a pretty good traveler, considering how difficult air travel is these days. However, she can get cranky when she is over-stimulated. Staying at a hotel was a perfect solution - they had less than 10% occupancy so it felt like we had the place to ourselves.

We didn't buy Mia too many gifts this year. (And if I haven't mentioned it, we've decided not to play up Santa here.) It didn't seem sensible or necessary - I haven't even put all her birthday presents into play yet. She got some great gifts from our relatives, including Kai-Lan's Trip to China DVD (I bet she'd watch it 5 or 6 times a day if we let her), a baby carriage with removable carrier, a PlayMobil greenhouse set, and an airplane. Mia is really into pretend play now, so we're having a lot of fun. Too bad the relatives aren't here to see how much enjoyment she is getting from these. And, I'm really glad we kept it modest on our end.

As for me, I have been getting some contract work and the prospects for 2010 are looking up. As far as the computer is concerned, I decided that as an independent consultant without a company Help Desk to call, it made sense to switch to a Mac. So far, so good.

Hope you liked the Christmas card. I didn't get around to designing and making them until mid-December, whereas I used to start them in August! It was wonderful to get pictures of so many of our China travel companions - what a beautiful bunch of girls they are.

Christmas Cookies

If my hands hadn't been full of cookie dough, I would have taken a photo of our Christmas cookie factory on Sunday. One of my favorite Christmas-time activities has always been baking cookies. Growing up, my Mom made dozens and dozens of cookies and candies, in a huge variety. Sugar cookies, spritz, date-filled cookies, refrigerator cookies, date rice krispy balls rolled in coconut, Mexican wedding cakes (aka Russian teacakes), baby potica, fudge, divinity, English toffee, ginger snaps, and peanut brittle. As an adult, my mom and sisters and I had a cookie exchange every year, and the church we belonged to had a "cookie walk" every December. It was like a cookie exchange except members donated cookies and then paid for the privilege of filling up a small bakery box with cookies. I learned after the first year that if you didn't hustle to get in line after the worship service, you were likely to end up with a box of chocolate chip cookies that had obviously been made from store-bought cookie dough. After spending hours rolling dozens and dozens of Russian teacakes in powdered sugar, that was a bit of a disappointment. I had to console myself by saying it was all for a good cause, and I was better off diet-wise because I brought the choc. chip cookies to the office for the 20-somethings to devour.
Mia loves to help me bake, so on Sunday I made dough for sugar cookies and spritz cookies. After chilling the dough, the real fun began. I rolled the dough and let Mia cut out a few sugar cookies, until I realized that was going to be quite difficult for her. I took over the cutting and Mia was happy to man the decorating station, sprinkling lots of colored sugars. We have Christmas trees of every color, but to be honest most of them are pink. If Jeff hadn't encouraged her to try some different colors, it would have been a pink Christmas here. Pink trees, pink reindeer, pink angels, pink stars...
The spritz cookies didn't work. I'd never made them myself, but I knew it was pretty easy. Just like the Salad Shooter, I thought. I was working with an old cookie press that I picked up at a garage sale or something. The handle was so hard to turn that I had to have Jeff do it. The dough squished out in all the wrong places, so we made a total of 3 wreaths and 2 candy canes before abandoning the effort.
Despite the failed spritz cookies, I felt a great sense of satisfaction. As the three of us made our cookies, I realized this was one of those moments that you dream of, when you decide start a family.

Lost and Found

When Mia started sleeping in her big-girl bed, Jeff and I worried that she'd get up during the night and wander around. We took to latching the toddler gates at the top of the stairs so that she couldn't take a wrong turn and tumble downward. To our relief, this has not been an issue. Mia is such a sound sleeper that most of the time we have to wake her up to get ready for school. Her afternoon nap can sometimes run from 3 pm to 6 pm. On those occasions when Mia wakes up on her own, she usually calls for Mom or Dad rather than getting out of bed.
But, the times they are a changin'. In the past several weeks, Mia has surprised us by taking a short nap and getting up on her own. Imagine me sitting in my office, working, when I hear the sound of little feet running down the hallway. Mia bursts into my office saying with glee, "I found you!!!" She then stamps her feet and laughs as if she'd just prevailed in a game of hide and seek. The other day during her scheduled naptime she ran down to the kitchen and startled the housekeeper by yelling, "I found you!!!" While I'd rather she continued those lovely long naps, it is pretty adorable to be greeted by my gleeful little diaper-clad gal.

Santa Baby

Last year, Mia didn't really understand Christmas, and we didn't try very hard to explain either the religious or secular significance. We didn't even try to get a photo on Santa's lap, as we were pretty sure that would have been traumatizing. Now that Mia understands more, this year's preparations are more fun - most of the time.
Soon after becoming parents, Jeff and I wondered what we'd tell Mia about Santa. I personally cannot remember a time that I believed in Santa, so it's no great shakes to me. My first memory of Santa is when my older brother showed me a picture (in the Encylopedia Brittanica, no less) of Santa flying through the air in a sleigh. As he explained to me that Santa visited every house on Christmas eve, I distinctly remember telling him that wasn't possible. I could see that there was no way he could fit a toy for every child on that sleigh, I knew sleighs didn't fly, and I knew he couldn't possibly make it around the world in one night. Always my rational self.
Back to our parenting discussion. If I recall correctly, Jeff was more concerned about the psychological aspects of telling one's child a big lie year after year. We have friends who tell their 5-year-old, "Santa is real just like Spiderman is real." They don't want to lie to him, but they also don't want him to dispell the fantasy for other children. I think we settled on the idea that the preschool would have lots of talk about Santa, so probably it made sense to go along with whatever they say for a while.
Which brings us to Christmas season 2009. As we expected, Mia came home from preschool one day talking about Santa. I asked her what Santa does and she said, "He comes down the chimney." I went along with it without embellishing. (Come to think of it, Mia hasn't asked for Santa to bring her anything yet. We don't let her watch children's TV, so it helps that she isn't exposed to all the toy advertising.) Later, I heard her singing, "I love Santa."
On Saturday, there was an Advent workshop at the church. They touted Santa would be making an appearance, and there would be crafts and snacks. I hadn't planned to take Mia, but then all morning Saturday she was singing about Santa. We happened to be driving past the church as the workshop was starting, so I made the decision to participate.
We were the second or third family to arrive. The event was in a big room with craft tables. Santa was sitting in a rocking chair at the far end of the room. Unfortunately, Mia took one look at him and started screaming in fear. (Deja vu - it was a lot like that Halloween party I told you about.) I tried to tell her it was just a nice man in a costume, like Halloween. (There were no other children within earshot, so I don't think I was spoiling it for anyone.) This went on for a while, despite my best efforts to comfort her. Finally, I was able to distract Mia long enough to get her to make a candy cane by stringing red and white beads on a pipe cleaner. That was going OK until Santa (who didn't have a lot to do at that point) decided to swoop in close to show her he wasn't scary. That started her crying again. Santa retreated to the food table. He was 30 or 40 feet away from us, but that wasn't good enough for Mia, who kept asking me to make him go back in his chair. As the room filled up with families who had clearly dressed up for a photo op with Santa, he returned to his rocker and became easier to ignore.
One of the event volunteers came to me and said, "That's why we do this. When you take your kids to the mall you've got one shot to get the photo and if they are crying, too bad." I see their point, but somehow I don't think Mia will be sitting on Santa's lap anytime soon. Until Mia asks to see Santa, I can get along without the classic Santa's lap photo in my album.