We're Going to China

Mia loves the TV show Ni Hao, Kai Lan, which she watches on DVD in measured amounts. Her grandparents bought her the DVD containing the episode where Kai Lan visits China, and Mia would watch it for hours if we let her.

My personal favorite scene shows Kai Lan, her grandparents, and friends on the airplane. They sing, "We're going to China, we're going to China. I feel so happy I just want to sing. Kai xing, kai xing, kai ching!" (Which I understand means "happiness")

Our travel authorization was issued by the China Center of Adoption Affairs late last week, and ever since I've been finding myself breaking into song. Kai xing, kai xing, kai xing!

We are tentatively planning to leave on March 24, pending confirmation of our request for an appointment at the U.S. Consulate in Guangzhou on April 7. That would put us back home on April 11. We are planning to fly in and out of Hong Kong this time. Mia will have to see the Great Wall of China when we return for a homeland tour in a few years. Due to spring break, airplane seats were hard to come by, so we will be making multiple stops and the total flying time will be about 24 hours each way. On the return flight, we have a short layover in Minneapolis, just as we did when we adopted Mia. This means that Piper will become a U.S. citizen in Minnesota, which is where Jeff and I were born. I love that!

It also means that if we get through immigration and customs quickly enough, Piper will be able to meet her grandparents!!!

Piper at 13 Months

In December we used a China-based "care package" service to send some goodies and request an update on Piper. We were rewarded with the attached photos and updated measurements.

Piper is in an excellent CWI (aka orphanage aka "baby house" as we explain it to Mia), and we were delighted to see how happy and healthy she looks - at least what you can see of her!

The measurements showed Piper is making excellent growth progress, having moved from the 3rd percentile or less on height and weight on the China growth charts at birth to the 25th percentile on height and 50th percentile on weight at 13 months. She is still a peanut by U.S. standards.

Our Family Is Complete!

Meet Mia's little sister-to-be, Piper Li. Piper currently lives in the Chengdu Children's Welfare Institute in Sichuan province. She is a little peanut, small for her age. We've been told that people living in Sichuan province tend to be diminutive.

This referral photo was taken at age 8 months. Piper is now 16 months old. It has taken a lot of paperwork and there have been many delays along the way. We've had to have faith that in the end we would be able to complete our family.

(P.S. After seeing the blond baby doll in this photo, we sent a package containing an Asian baby doll and a few other goodies for Piper, the other children, and the nannies.)

Feelings and Friendships

Mia has now been in her new preschool for 6 weeks, and the change is noticeable. For one thing, she is louder. Her new classroom is bigger in square footage and there are a lot more kids, so the children have to speak up to be heard over the din.

For another thing, Mia is more expressive about her feelings. We often hear, "I don't like it when you do that. It makes me feel bad."

They must talk a lot about best friends, as in who is best friends with whom. For a couple of weeks, Mia declared daily that E (a boy) was her best friend. She also told me that "J and J (girls) are best friends, so they are not my best friend." As time passes, she seems to be entering the inner circle with the other girls, because now any child might be her best friend on any given day.

Oh, and she tells Jeff and I that we're her best friends - except when she gets mad at us. Then she says, "You're not my best friend!!!!!" Our comeback of course, is, "Mia it makes me feel bad when you say that." That is often enough to make her stop in her tracks, reflect, and say "I'm sorry, Mom. You're my best friend."

At the Playground

It was 60 degrees and sunny on Sunday, so Daddy took Mia to the playground.

Miss Hollywood

I took this photo on "ballet day." On Wednesdays, all the girls in Mia's class have a ballet lesson. The girls wear their leotards in the morning and the teachers change them into street clothes after class. When I saw her in this get-up, I had to get out the camera. Mia loves her new silver coat. I'm also happy that she is wearing her sunglasses more often. I am big believer in sunglasses, but to this point haven't had much success getting Mia to wear them.

Chinese New Year

We celebrated Chinese New Year (a week late) yesterday. Our China playgroup got together for lunch at a Chinese restaurant. The timing was a bit challenging - right smack dab in the middle of Mia's normal naptime. Other than that, Mia had a good time. There were about 15 girls from age 3 to 8 or so. A highlight was when the girls took turns parading around the restaurant in a "lion" head. (It looked more like a dragon to me, but the father who brought it said it was a lion.) Mia had a couple of spins with the lion, once in the middle (bottom photo) and another time in the head (shown being carried by another girl).

This morning, Mia's preschool teacher asked her if she had a nice weekend. Mia nodded, saying, "I saw my Chinese friends."

School Daze

Mia is adjusting to her new school and new schedule quite well. She likes her teachers and classmates a lot. It is a lot different than her previous school. There are more children in this class and they are on different arrival and departure schedules. Mia is usually there from 9 a.m. to 5:15 p.m. or so. One thing I really like is that the school provides lunch and snacks. I've never been a fan of the brown bag, myself.

Most mornings, Mia clutches my leg as we enter the classroom. She is clingy and doesn't want me to leave. I mean she really doesn't want me to leave. She holds me tightly and cries until we can get her interested in an activity. At least 50% of the time, one of the teachers has to physically separate her from me. I hate doing it, but I know that she is perfectly fine within 20 seconds after I leave the classroom. (I peek back in through the one-way glass, just to be sure.)

It is a busy place with lots of different activities and electives. (Electives include swimming lessons, ballet, and gymnastics. As much as your child wants and your checkbook can absorb.) Mia and I are getting in the rhythm of things. I have to remember to dress her appropriately and/or pack her backpack each day. Since my workday is anything but predictable, I like helping Mia stay on her schedule.

Mondays: Wear sneakers for PE class. Encourage Mia to wear pants.

Wednesdays: Pack swimsuit, goggles, towel, warm cover-up, and jellies for swimming lessons. Ask Mia what she wants to bring for "Show and Share" and be sure it goes in the backpack in the morning and comes back home that night.

Thursdays: Dress Mia in her leotard, tights, and ballet slippers in the morning. Put a change of clothes, shoes, and socks in the backpack, as the teachers change the girls into their street clothes after ballet class (which is attended by all the girls in the class).

Friday: Take home the sheet and blanket Mia uses during naptime. Launder and make sure they get back in the backpack for Monday.

I really look forward to going to pick Mia up each afternoon. Each day, the teachers create a flipchart where each child says what they liked best about their day. Since Mia doesn't talk a lot about her day, other than the occasional, "Lilah forgot her goggles but I didn't," or "Michael took my toy and I cried," I like having this tiny little window on her day.

I should mention that while Mia doesn't want me to leave in the morning, I have a hard time getting her to leave in the afternoon as well. Parting is such sweet sorrow.

A Hallmark Moment

Alas, the cameras weren't rolling, but we had one of those moments tonight that I hope I never forget. Mia and Jeff had gone to the grocery store together. While there, they picked up a Valentine's bouquet. (White roses, which I love.) On the way home, Mia commented on how nice the flowers were, so Jeff suggested that Mia could present them to me. He says there was no more coaching, the rest was her invention.

From my office upstairs, I could hear the back door opening and Jeff saying, "Okay, go give them to Mom." I went downstairs to find Mia holding the bouquet, looking very serious. She was dressed in her navy velveteen dress (a little dressy for everyday, but she loves it so I allow it) and lavender sweater.

Mia: Mom, these are for you. I buyed them for you.

Me: Oh, Mia, they are beautiful flowers! They smell just like spring.

Mia: I really love you, Mom.

Me: I really love you, honey.

Mia: You're my best friend.

Me: Thank you. You're my best friend, too.

Mia: I know. I really love you, Mom.

New School

This week I decided that one of the challenges of maintaining a blog is that the more that happens, the less time you have to write about it. We've had a busy week here. Mia started at a new preschool on Monday, and I've been trying to keep up with the new schedule and requirements.

This program is a full day, meaning Mia naps there. The teacher reported she didn't nap the first day, and asked me what helps her fall asleep at night. Boy, it is hard to give a short answer to that question. Fortunately, Mia got in synch with her classmates by Tuesday.

I've spent a bit of time in the class this week, and picked up some phrases that will come in handy in helping Mia become the best 3-year-old she can be. A few of my favorites:

Ballet Instructor (when one of the ballerinas pointed out that another ballerina was continuing to cry for no discernible reason): "Everybody is different. We don't say things that make other people feel bad."

Teacher (as she distributes ribbons in different colors): "You git what you git and you don't pitch a fit."

We've always had difficulty getting Mia to tell us anything about her day at preschool, so imagine my surprise this evening when she responded to Auntie Paula's query.

Paula: How do you like your new school?

Mia (after hesitation): My new school is......... perfect.

Mia smiles a big, contented smile. Her mother smiles because she doesn't think she has ever heard Mia declare anything to be perfect.

Ready for Spring

After Mia got up from her nap, she took it upon herself to do a little shopping in her closet. She found the summer clothes I'd set aside, hoping they will fit her again this season. I asked her to pose for a photo, and she showed off not only her outfit but also her ballet moves. It is so nice to be able to get her to pose -- and smile a genuine smile instead of that cheesy grin we've been seeing so much of.

We'll be changing before we go out for the evening.

The Boss

Mia has been pretty bossy lately, and while I admire her assertiveness, I am of the view that few things are less attractive than a bossy 3-year-old girl. We are coping with this by suggesting that instead of barking out orders to her parents (or nanny, whom she has also started to boss), she needs to put on her nicest voice and say, "Mom, can you please .....?" If she barks out an order, I have learned the best response is to stop what I am doing, look directly at her, cock my head, and say nothing. When she says, "Please, Mom, can you....?" my standard response is, "Why yes, since you asked so nicely, I'd be happy to put you milk in the sparkly purple cup." (She tries to capitalize on this by asking for candy and cookies, but I'm too smart for that.)

I will admit that I am sometimes impressed by her attempts at persuasion (to put it nicely). Case in point: Last night we were driving in the car and I was practicing my Chinese, repeating after the woman on the CD I got in the mail the other day. Not only would Mia not practice along with me, she made it clear she did not want to listen to me.

Mia: "Mom, stooooooop!"

Me: "I'm practicing my Chinese. Why do I have to stop?"

Mia: "Mom, it's dangerous!"

Me: "That's silly. It's not dangerous!"

Mia: "I am disappointed! I am mad!"

That was enough for me to turn on the Andrew Lloyd Weber Broadway hits album, where Mia requested her favorite song, "By Jeeves."

Bedtime Stories

We've been having a tough time getting Mia to go to bed at a decent hour (i.e., before 9:30 p.m.). She is so full of energy, she just doesn't want to wind down. She begs for "more milky" (oh, yeah, she is also going through a phase where she thinks it is cute to add a "Y" on the end of her nouns), insists she is hungry (I am not sympathetic to this, after she eats a snack that would put The Very Hungry Caterpiller to shame), puts on and takes off various nightwear (usually ending up with just a camisole and a night-time diaper) and on and on.

The only thing that really works is getting her into the rocking chair and turning out the lights. That is her cue to ask, "Mom, tell me about my day." I first did this one night when I was having a particularly difficult time winding down, and it has become a nightly ritual. It goes something like this (with daily variations, of course), "Daddy woke you up but you said you wanted to sleep some more so he went off to work. Then Mommy woke you up and you said you wanted to sleep some more but Mommy said we have to get ready for school. You decided to wear your red dress and the purple bow...." The plain-old everyday details continue as I recount the days events in my most soothing, hypnotherapy-worthy voice. Periodically, Mia breaks in with, "You forgot....." at which point I exclaim, "You know, you're right!" and rewind the tape, adding that tidbit. Sometimes, she editorializes on my description of something we did together ("... and Mom was not happy") or announces with great authority something that happened at preschool ("Evan had an accident"). Since I can rarely on direct questioning get her to tell me anything about what she did in preschool, I like having these little windows on her day - even when she tells me, "Sofie told me to take my shoes and socks off on the playground and I got a time out."

After I recount the big and small events of the day, I wrap up with the standard finale. "And then you sat in my lap and I told you about your day."

Snowbound??

Being from the Upper Midwest, I find it amusing how a little snow can shut things down here. Last Thursday we had a dusting of snow (they said an inch on TV but look for yourself - I'm not sure what kind of ruler they were using) and it shut down schools and most businesses on Friday and Saturday. (Some were still closed on Monday.) To be fair, the thin layer of ice underneath the snow was the real problem. It was darn cold even by my standards (windchills had to be near zero), but Mia and I got out for a few minutes. Lest you were wondering about my parenting skills, be informed that I tried very hard to persuade her to zip up her jacket!! (I gave up, deciding I was not going to win that war and it would be easier just to whisk her inside at the first signs of hypothermia.) It was also her idea to wear the sunglasses, though it was only because she liked the look. I can never get her to actually use them for their intended purpose.

Where was Jeff, you ask? He got up early and applied I don't know how many pounds of ice melter to our super-steep driveway, then headed in to the office.

Back At It

Between work, preparations for Christmas, and a laptop that quit on Christmas Day (Merry Christmas from HP - just 39 days after the 12-month warranty expired), it has been a long time since I posted. We had a lovely holiday that included a trip to Minnesota and lots of time with both sets of grandparents and many aunts, uncles, and cousins. This year we decided to stay in a hotel (with points, not $ - in case you were thinking I'd won the lottery) and found it reduced everyone's stress levels. Mia is generally a pretty good traveler, considering how difficult air travel is these days. However, she can get cranky when she is over-stimulated. Staying at a hotel was a perfect solution - they had less than 10% occupancy so it felt like we had the place to ourselves.

We didn't buy Mia too many gifts this year. (And if I haven't mentioned it, we've decided not to play up Santa here.) It didn't seem sensible or necessary - I haven't even put all her birthday presents into play yet. She got some great gifts from our relatives, including Kai-Lan's Trip to China DVD (I bet she'd watch it 5 or 6 times a day if we let her), a baby carriage with removable carrier, a PlayMobil greenhouse set, and an airplane. Mia is really into pretend play now, so we're having a lot of fun. Too bad the relatives aren't here to see how much enjoyment she is getting from these. And, I'm really glad we kept it modest on our end.

As for me, I have been getting some contract work and the prospects for 2010 are looking up. As far as the computer is concerned, I decided that as an independent consultant without a company Help Desk to call, it made sense to switch to a Mac. So far, so good.

Hope you liked the Christmas card. I didn't get around to designing and making them until mid-December, whereas I used to start them in August! It was wonderful to get pictures of so many of our China travel companions - what a beautiful bunch of girls they are.

Christmas Cookies

If my hands hadn't been full of cookie dough, I would have taken a photo of our Christmas cookie factory on Sunday. One of my favorite Christmas-time activities has always been baking cookies. Growing up, my Mom made dozens and dozens of cookies and candies, in a huge variety. Sugar cookies, spritz, date-filled cookies, refrigerator cookies, date rice krispy balls rolled in coconut, Mexican wedding cakes (aka Russian teacakes), baby potica, fudge, divinity, English toffee, ginger snaps, and peanut brittle. As an adult, my mom and sisters and I had a cookie exchange every year, and the church we belonged to had a "cookie walk" every December. It was like a cookie exchange except members donated cookies and then paid for the privilege of filling up a small bakery box with cookies. I learned after the first year that if you didn't hustle to get in line after the worship service, you were likely to end up with a box of chocolate chip cookies that had obviously been made from store-bought cookie dough. After spending hours rolling dozens and dozens of Russian teacakes in powdered sugar, that was a bit of a disappointment. I had to console myself by saying it was all for a good cause, and I was better off diet-wise because I brought the choc. chip cookies to the office for the 20-somethings to devour.
Mia loves to help me bake, so on Sunday I made dough for sugar cookies and spritz cookies. After chilling the dough, the real fun began. I rolled the dough and let Mia cut out a few sugar cookies, until I realized that was going to be quite difficult for her. I took over the cutting and Mia was happy to man the decorating station, sprinkling lots of colored sugars. We have Christmas trees of every color, but to be honest most of them are pink. If Jeff hadn't encouraged her to try some different colors, it would have been a pink Christmas here. Pink trees, pink reindeer, pink angels, pink stars...
The spritz cookies didn't work. I'd never made them myself, but I knew it was pretty easy. Just like the Salad Shooter, I thought. I was working with an old cookie press that I picked up at a garage sale or something. The handle was so hard to turn that I had to have Jeff do it. The dough squished out in all the wrong places, so we made a total of 3 wreaths and 2 candy canes before abandoning the effort.
Despite the failed spritz cookies, I felt a great sense of satisfaction. As the three of us made our cookies, I realized this was one of those moments that you dream of, when you decide start a family.

Lost and Found

When Mia started sleeping in her big-girl bed, Jeff and I worried that she'd get up during the night and wander around. We took to latching the toddler gates at the top of the stairs so that she couldn't take a wrong turn and tumble downward. To our relief, this has not been an issue. Mia is such a sound sleeper that most of the time we have to wake her up to get ready for school. Her afternoon nap can sometimes run from 3 pm to 6 pm. On those occasions when Mia wakes up on her own, she usually calls for Mom or Dad rather than getting out of bed.
But, the times they are a changin'. In the past several weeks, Mia has surprised us by taking a short nap and getting up on her own. Imagine me sitting in my office, working, when I hear the sound of little feet running down the hallway. Mia bursts into my office saying with glee, "I found you!!!" She then stamps her feet and laughs as if she'd just prevailed in a game of hide and seek. The other day during her scheduled naptime she ran down to the kitchen and startled the housekeeper by yelling, "I found you!!!" While I'd rather she continued those lovely long naps, it is pretty adorable to be greeted by my gleeful little diaper-clad gal.

Santa Baby

Last year, Mia didn't really understand Christmas, and we didn't try very hard to explain either the religious or secular significance. We didn't even try to get a photo on Santa's lap, as we were pretty sure that would have been traumatizing. Now that Mia understands more, this year's preparations are more fun - most of the time.
Soon after becoming parents, Jeff and I wondered what we'd tell Mia about Santa. I personally cannot remember a time that I believed in Santa, so it's no great shakes to me. My first memory of Santa is when my older brother showed me a picture (in the Encylopedia Brittanica, no less) of Santa flying through the air in a sleigh. As he explained to me that Santa visited every house on Christmas eve, I distinctly remember telling him that wasn't possible. I could see that there was no way he could fit a toy for every child on that sleigh, I knew sleighs didn't fly, and I knew he couldn't possibly make it around the world in one night. Always my rational self.
Back to our parenting discussion. If I recall correctly, Jeff was more concerned about the psychological aspects of telling one's child a big lie year after year. We have friends who tell their 5-year-old, "Santa is real just like Spiderman is real." They don't want to lie to him, but they also don't want him to dispell the fantasy for other children. I think we settled on the idea that the preschool would have lots of talk about Santa, so probably it made sense to go along with whatever they say for a while.
Which brings us to Christmas season 2009. As we expected, Mia came home from preschool one day talking about Santa. I asked her what Santa does and she said, "He comes down the chimney." I went along with it without embellishing. (Come to think of it, Mia hasn't asked for Santa to bring her anything yet. We don't let her watch children's TV, so it helps that she isn't exposed to all the toy advertising.) Later, I heard her singing, "I love Santa."
On Saturday, there was an Advent workshop at the church. They touted Santa would be making an appearance, and there would be crafts and snacks. I hadn't planned to take Mia, but then all morning Saturday she was singing about Santa. We happened to be driving past the church as the workshop was starting, so I made the decision to participate.
We were the second or third family to arrive. The event was in a big room with craft tables. Santa was sitting in a rocking chair at the far end of the room. Unfortunately, Mia took one look at him and started screaming in fear. (Deja vu - it was a lot like that Halloween party I told you about.) I tried to tell her it was just a nice man in a costume, like Halloween. (There were no other children within earshot, so I don't think I was spoiling it for anyone.) This went on for a while, despite my best efforts to comfort her. Finally, I was able to distract Mia long enough to get her to make a candy cane by stringing red and white beads on a pipe cleaner. That was going OK until Santa (who didn't have a lot to do at that point) decided to swoop in close to show her he wasn't scary. That started her crying again. Santa retreated to the food table. He was 30 or 40 feet away from us, but that wasn't good enough for Mia, who kept asking me to make him go back in his chair. As the room filled up with families who had clearly dressed up for a photo op with Santa, he returned to his rocker and became easier to ignore.
One of the event volunteers came to me and said, "That's why we do this. When you take your kids to the mall you've got one shot to get the photo and if they are crying, too bad." I see their point, but somehow I don't think Mia will be sitting on Santa's lap anytime soon. Until Mia asks to see Santa, I can get along without the classic Santa's lap photo in my album.

Trimming the Tree

Last night we decorated our Christmas tree. As always, Jeff and I enjoyed sharing the significance of many of the ornaments. It is a good thing we do that, because otherwise one or the other of us is bound to wrinkle our nose and say, "Honey, couldn't we leave that one off the tree this year?" just as the other is recalling fond memories of the Grandmother from whom said ornament had been passed down. Honestly, if we considered the decorations Jeff brought into the marriage vs. Donna's, Jeff would win hands down. (Forgive me for saying that this is in sharp contrast to most categories of our material possessions.) Jeff's mother gave him an ornament every year, and still does. Most of the ornaments I'd accumulated were rustic folk-art kinds of things from Pier 1 Imports, and they were purged a year or two ago. I've acquired some nice ornaments since we've been married. I'm most fond of the four cloissone ornaments, even more after we visited a cloissone factory when we were in Beijing. (I regret I didn't buy more while in China.)
This year was particularly meaningful because Mia was able to join in. The tree is a bit bottom-heavy, but we don't mind. It was fun to see which ornaments caught her fancy among all that bling. On the classic side, she exclaimed over a simple crystal heart. On the modern side, she took a fancy to a miniature electric guitar I gave Jeff some time ago. She posed for a photo before running to her playroom to get her very own Wiggles electric guitar.

Giving Thanks

We had a lovely Thanksgiving Day at our house, just Mia, Jeff, and I. We feel truly blessed in so many ways. Mia is starting to understand the meaning of holidays, but not quite. On Tuesday, she said, "Mom, I want Thanksgiving!" as if she were demanding a lollipop or strawberries.
Yesterday Jeff and I got a babysitter so that we could have some time alone together. We did a little bit of shopping and stumbled on a great sale on some of the old classic games from our childhood. We picked up Don't Spill The Beans and Don't Break The Ice. (Unbelievably, one of Mia's parents is able to sing both verses of the 1960's jingle for Don't Break the Ice. You know, the one that goes... Tap hard once, tap hard twice, there goes another block of ice! And parent 2 thought it was so catchy, s/he learned it as well. Jeff wondered aloud if the jingle-composer is collecting a royalty every time we sing it.) We were looking for something to do last night, so we broke out both games and played them with Mia. I have to say that it seems counter-intuitive to a 3-year-old that the object of Don't Spill the Beans is to get rid of your beans. Mia wants to get as many beans as possible, and what kid wouldn't? Mr. Milton Bradley would have been proud to see us enjoying our first "family game night." And of course, we were teaching our gal sportsmanship as well.
Today I went out for a bit and when I came home, Jeff and Mia were raking leaves. Mia was an energetic helper.